This whole writing and blogging thing drives me crazy. Every day I have something to write, but I’m always blowing it off, rationalizing that nobody cares what I have to say and I’m not much of a writer and I have no TIME.
I am continually compelled to write, and yet I’ve hardly written “Jack Squat”.
I was talking with God about this and two words kept popping in my mind. WHAT IF. Here’s how the conversation followed.
God: “WHAT IF, Shelly. What if you’re right, and you’re not a good writer, but I want you to write anyway?”
Me: “But God, I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”
God: “Hmmm. OK.” Silence.
Then it hits me.
Me: “Is there anything more foolish than ignoring what God calls you too?”
… and how many times have I declared I would do anything for God? But write? Ugh.
I’m an unsophisticated writer.
Me: “Really God?” Deep within, His Spirit stirs a rumbling in me.
“Okay… so what do I write, there are so many writers and bloggers and greats and who am I?”
God: “You’re MINE.”
Again! He’s says that ALL THE TIME. (And I need to hear it.)
me: “What about time? I’m so busy.”
God: “Oh, you mean like spending time on Pinterest, doing puzzles and projects or watching tv?”
I know He’s not telling me these are bad. He’s just pointing out that I could manage my time better.
me: “Okay. So here I am.”
God: “Okay. So there you are. So write.”
Me: “but God, You didn’t answer my question. What do I write?”
God: “Anything child. Write our conversation. Write anything. It’s not about your talent or ability. It’s about Me. You and Me and LIFE.”
Me: “I know this God, but I don’t understand. It doesn’t make sense.”
God: “Does it have too? What if it does make sense to Me, and you simply are unable to understand? What if it’s just about you being MINE and doing what I’ve called you too, just because you are Mine?”
God: “Shelly, what if I call you to write every day for the rest of your life and no one but Me sees it or likes it or cares? Would it all be a waste?”
Me: “Oh God. I know the right answer. But…”
God: “but what?” (as if He doesn’t already know my thoughts!)
God: “My child, you are called by Me for MY PURPOSES. It’s not for you to understand, but simply to listen to Me and follow Me. No one except ME is asking you to fulfill a purpose.”
You are called to be a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a servant. Those are an important part of My plan, but more than that, your purpose is OUR RELATIONSHIP.
I want your heart.
And I want you to write that and share it, and not to be concerned with what anyone else thinks about how you do that.
Are you seeking the approval of man or Me?”
Me: “It’s been man.”
God: “I know. But it’s time love. My giftings and calling are irrevocable. It’s okay if you’re not good at using it. But child, it’s up to you to use it.”
What if. What’s your “what if”?
Do you know that which you are called too, and are you walking in it?
We all have something God places deep within us; a key ingredient He placed in you when He designed you.
Do you recognize it? Do you use it? Have you forgotten it or has the business of life snuffed it out?
What if? God says that His giftings and callings are irrevocable. They’re not conditional on our ability, just our availability.
What if there’s something hidden deep in you, which you’ve forgotten for a long time. What if it’s not too late? What if now is your time to draw near to God and embrace that special something he wove into your very being?
Just remember, it’s not about the gifting or calling. It’s about Him and you. The gifts are a means and a unique expression of Him in you.
“for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” Romans 11:20 (NAS)