My life, a beautiful mess: written last fall, but that’s ok.  My life is STILL a beautiful mess.

Saturday we took our son to the airport after a great 5 day visit.  I hate goodbyes. They make me want to cry.

Sunday I was responsible for portions of a big Back to School event, complete with snow cones.  I miscalculated the departure time of the snow cone vendor and didn’t realize it till they had to leave before our fourth service got their free snow cones.  I was mortified knowing I was the one responsible.  Children cried.Photo by Scott Adams 2005

Today I had an exhaustive list of “to do’s”.  After finishing number 5 on my checklist, I began to drive off.  I looked down at my list.  Suddenly I felt and heard a jolting crunch of metal as I rammed into an empty parked car.  No!  Seriously?!  I want to SCREAM!Thankfully the car was the only one hurt.

Once again, I found myself throwing my hands up in the air,
“Jesus!  I’m a MESS.”
His faithful response is, “I know child.  You’re a beautiful mess.”
“Yeh, Lord I know.  And YOU’RE the beauty in my mess.”

This has been a year full of challenges.  Even so, I’ve come closer to Christ in all my messiness this year than I had been for years coasting in perceived “success”.   Each mess, heartache and challenge has brought me closer to reality in my relationship with Christ.

I’ve heard it said that when a jar is shaken, what’s on the inside will spill out.  Is it sweet or sour?

As my life was getting shook up, what began to spill out of me was a heaping portion of sourness; I was full of SELF.  I had become confident in my own abilities, confident in years of being in ministry, confident in doing right, striving for excellence.

There is nothing wrong in well doing, UNLESS Christ is not the center of our focus.   We are out of balance when Christ is the goal but not the means.  We are in danger when we become our own source.

It’s just as important to “press into Christ” when we are heavy burdened, scrambling just to breath or at the top of the mountain conquering new ground.  The truth is, we need Christ ALL THE TIME, no matter what season we’re in.

When we’re at the top of our game, we need time to be transparent with ourselves and check if our perspective is truly Christ centered.

When we’ve fallen face first for the umpteenth time, it’s the same; we need to take time to get alone and really focus on Christ.

What season are you in, and where is Christ in your season?  Where is your focus?  Is it on Him with everything else in the peripheral?

Are you hearing His voice, recognizing His presence in your life?

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and loose heart. Hebrews 12: 1-3 (bold and italics added)

photo credit: <a href=””>Scott Adams</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>cc</a>