WarNinG! Going into business with your spouse may
put your marriage to the test.
After 28 years of marriage, Brad and I sold our house, most of our belongings, bought a franchise business and moved from Texas to Colorado.
We made it thru some really tough challenges in early marriage, so 3 kids and 28 years later we considered ourselves perfectly suited to go into business together. After all, we share the same goals and values. We have fun being together and we were mutually excited to make a difference in the lives of others.
We were worn out before we even began.
I really believed that once we got started everything would begin to fall in place.
Hmmm. Months later…
Here we are in Colorado, a full day’s drive from Texas. The mountains are beautiful and the weather is ridiculously aMAZing. We haven’t weathered winter yet, but so far we love it.
Even so, we don’t have those dear old close friends to drop by, have a cry and get a squeeze of the shoulder reminding us, “God’s got your back –and so do I.”
I may have given up entirely at the beginning if I had known it would be so tough.
Our friends, family and church community were a HUGE part of our lives. They helped shape who we’ve become.
I know they’re still there for us, but…. It is different.
Trying to find a new church home is exhausting. It’s just not home. Home is where the people are who you’ve invested your life in.
Did we make a mistake?
I don’t believe so. There were too many doors that opened and others that closed.
This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do. My marriage has been put to the test far more than any time before.
Brad and I get along great, but we are with each other 24/7.
We’re committed to one another with God at the center continuously pulling us upward together.
But we’re back to relearning the basics; communication, forgiveness, sacrifice, flexibility, forbearance.
We have too.
When we “go home” it’s the same person we’ve been with all day. You can’t say, “You’ll never believe what Brad did at the office today.”
At the end of the day, I need to exert energy to clear my head. A vigorous hike renews my mindset.
Brad prefers to chill and enjoy a break from all the “doing”. Give him time to sit and rest or watch a favorite show and he’s happy.
While I could run him ragged and he could make me stir crazy, we are learning how to meet each other in the middle.
Communication is essential.
We need it as we uncover issues that got swept away in preoccupations of raising children and separate occupations.
Are we there? No.
Are we working on it? Daily. Hourly.
Sometimes the hardest things in life prove to be the things that grow us most.
Whether you’re going in to business with your spouse –moving cross country -facing physical hardship –or taking some leap of faith that feels like a dismal fall; circumstances will put you to the test.
Keep in mind; some seasons are just tough. Life gets messy and it’s not always pretty.
I’d like to wrap up this post with a catchy phrase or a nice quote.
I don’t have one today.
The best I have to offer is the best I have to offer: Jesus.
No matter what; -Jesus.
Just look to Jesus.
You can’t go wrong when you turn to Him.
Your situation may not change right away (probably won’t). It could even get tougher!
But your eyes will see the only thing you really need to see to give you the perspective you need –in any season. Jesus.